The tales of an unoriginal plot template
by Yumi999
Summary: I know what you're thinking. OH God another OC that fell into Wonderland, oh god I bet you it's probably poorly written and fan girly. Constructive Critisism and DO NOT put text speak in your reviews, please at least make it legible.
1. Chapter 1

I remember sleeping outside, I was doing History homework, so I remember seeing this rabbit, and it was standing on its back legs like a human. In a red jacket, glasses, and with a pocket watch in its left paw. It was downright freaky lookin'. But then again, I was asleep; so it did make some sense. So I merely picked up my dream binder filled with nightmarish homework, yeah I'll stop with the dream jokes, and I walked to my room, sat on my bed and threw the damned atrocity out the window. It made a very nice slam onto the driveway, causing useless papers to fly everywhere.

"Yeah, biznitch!" I shouted in victory, raising my fists into the air. I always swear like a sailor, it's in my lazy and weird nature. I smiled like a crazy person who escaped from the local insane asylum, and continued to pet my cat, Angel, who I was having a very intellectual conversation about which place is the comfiest for a human and a cat. But, that rabbit showed up again, in all its freaking weirdness.

"It looks like a weirdy," I said.

"You're supposed to follow me!" It scolded.

"You're not even supposed to be here, Mr. Weirdy," I said.

"If you won't come with me willingly I'll-"

"What you'll beat me to death with your fuzzy, soft paws?" I mocked with a smirk.

"I'll take you by force," It said with a sneer. In a puff of smoke (hey it's a dream he can do whatever he wants) and transformed into a man with white hair and red eyes. He was dressed in the same jacket from his previous form now accompanied with brown slacks and black dress shoes.

"Um, EW," I said sticking my tongue out in disgust. He still had rabbit ears and those glasses. I just stared at him with a disturbed look on my face. I dislike rabbits very much; they're the devil's servants. Well I do like the killer bunny rabbit, but that's another story. Well, I decided I was going to kick this guy's ass. I smiled evilly and tilted my head to make it tilt straight to the left. And then started to take part in laughing evilly and shrilly, I walked slowly forward laughing even louder. I kicked him in the shin, and watched him let out an ow. I punched him in the gut and uppercutted him. His butt hit the carpet and a loud victory was shouted out from behind me. I smirked and picked up my cat, who was praising me. I smiled, but my glory didn't last long. I grabbed my IPod, my phone, and my cat. I passed Mr. Weirdy, and jumped from the third step, then getting back up to run outside from my back door. But, my mom forgot to remove the locks from the outside to the inside. Wait, oh crap. I turned around to Mr. Weirdy; with a none too pleasant look on his face. I let out an awkward laugh but it sort of died when he started getting to close for comfort. Okay, maybe I shouldn't have kicked his ass.

"All right that's it," he said glaring at me," we are going now!" Maybe I should just shut my mouth and let this guy kidnap me. But, then again, I always had a tendency for pushing people's buttons at the wrong times.

"Well someone's not a happy camper," I said. I placed my hands over my mouth before I could say anything else. Oh he doesn't look too happy. He let out a growl and hefted me over his shoulder.

"I do not concede! I did not eat the last Reese's! I'm innocent I tells ya! Innocent!" I shouted.

"Let us go you damned rabbit!" My cat yelled. I smiled instantly; did I mention I love you Angel?

"Yeah, let us go, or face the all mighty awesomeness of- wait, what are you doing?" I questioned, to mostly myself," Oh holy Freaking shit!" I was tossed down this giant hole, like your mom's- never mind. But all I saw was a light and with Mr. Weirdy following close behind us. Me and Angel were both silent, only 2 minutes into the fall did we seriously start screaming. All I saw was Weirdy smiling like a douche bag, yes I do know what a douche bag smiles like. I clutched Angel tighter as everything went dark. Then I felt two hands come up around my arms and my chest. I screamed even louder and I started to kick the air behind me. I had Angel even tighter, who was complaining about how he couldn't breathe. I finally hit something which was exchanged for an ouch. I scowled, realizing who it was.

"So, you throw me down a freaking hole and now you try a comp a feel?" I screeched.

"Now Audrey," my cat began," let me go so I can claw this guy's eyes out," he finished with a growl. His meow was pitiful but his growl was something to be feared. I didn't dare let go, mostly because I didn't want blood on my new shoes, and I didn't want to be charged with murder.

"Mr. Weirdy isn't worth it," I said," besides don't you want to see him go splat?" I wanted more than anything to see Mr. Weirdy go splat, but I didn't want to be next after him. I saw Mr. Weirdy's ears drop. I think he was sad, well at that point I could care less about him. I was more focused on what he was saying.

"What did you say Mr. Weirdy?"

"I said it's too bad we can't fall forever, and my name is not Mr. Weirdy!" he shouted.

"What? And if you don't want to be called Mr. Weirdy then tell us your name," I said bluntly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was.

"Well, I'll tell you soon enough," he said. I was totally confused. I let out an ignorant "Huh?" before I saw a brighter light coming from the bottom of the seemingly endless shaft. I let out a yelp, Angel just looked below at the light and then back up at me. I flipped him so that he was facing away from the light and put his head on my shoulder. I gave him a brief squeeze and buried my face into his fur, and then I felt arms encircle my waist. But, before I could protest, we were swallowed up by the light.

I woke up, on the cold hard ground, well it was more like stone, but I doubt that truly matters. Everything seemed fuzzy for a few seconds, and then my vision returned. I was on top of a castle like structure, with blue skies above me and clouds passing along lazily. I started searching for Angel; I knew he was with me when we went into the light. I found him 10 feet away from me, and I began crawling towards him. I picked him up, and he was snoring, which was too cute for words. I held him in my arms like you would hold a baby. He was my little boy after all- ok I'll stop. As if on cue, Mr. Weirdy appeared out of the blue. I gave the meanest glare I could give him, and held Angel tighter. I kept my eyes on him, he only walked forward with that grin again, oh god I hated that grin. I bared my teeth like a feral animal, and let out a small growl. He only smiled wider. I was ticked.

"Oh wipe that grin off your face rabbit," I said putting all the venom in the word rabbit. But he reached into his once nonexistent pocket and pulled out a clear blue vial with a cap that had a small blue heart.

"I need you to drink this," he said with a blank look on his face.

"Are you freaking serious? Are you freaking serious?" I shouted." You throw me down a hole, comp a feel, knock me and my cat out, and NOW you decide to tell me to drink this suspicious liquid? HOW dare you?"

"But you won't progress any farther," He said with a pout.

"Are you completely fucked up in the head?" I questioned, anger radiating off me. If this was a old American cartoon, a lightbulb would have apeared over my head.

"All right," I said.

"Wait, what?" He questioned.

"I'll drink your whatever it is," I said.

"Really?" He asked, I nodded," Oh this is perfect!" He held out the blue vial, which I snatched out of his hand. I looked at the contents of the vial, and with a flick of my wrist I threw it as hard as I could into the sky and beyond. Mr. Weirdy just stood there with an eerie smirk. I felt myself back up holding Angel to my body, but I felt something in my hand. I opened up my right hand and found the blue vial. Let's just say my heart stopped for 2 seconds. I screamed; this was a Click© moment. I threw it at Mr. Weirdy. He caught it, and started walking forward.

"Come on, you said you would drink it," he said. I was horrified.

"All right give me the damn vial! I'm freaking tired of you playing with my mind, just leave me the hell alone!" I yelled.

"Aww, you aren't any fun. Oh well," he said with a sigh, but he held out that pesky, little vial once more. I snatched it right out of his hand and sent him a glare before gulping down its contents. It tasted sweet, bitter and spicy all at the same time. I had to force myself to swallow it. I had tears in my eyes, it was awful. I glared back up at him, and asked a question that had been buried in my subconscious.

"Am I dead?" I asked.

"Dead?" he questioned," Of course you're not dead! You're dreaming!" He declared, with a smile. I felt my jaw drop as soon as he said that. But the wise ass in me couldn't let it be blow away in the wind.

"Oh, ok, I get it now," I said with a smile," You put me in a coma, and now I'm going to die! Oh, it makes PERFECT Freaking Sense!" I screamed at him." And you also killed my cat! Great job asshole!"

He looked like he was shocked, which made me say 'really?' inside my head. But his mouth curled up into a smile once more, and the look in his eyes told me that he knew something I didn't.

"Well whether you want to or not, the game has begun," he said." Oh, by the way my name is Peter White, and I'll see you again soon."

"Go to hell," I said.

He descended down the stairs that also appeared out of nowhere. I picked myself up and ran after him. I held onto Angel tighter as I pounded my feet onto the steps to get after Peter. I wanted to yell at him until he went deaf or would have shoved a large machete into his ear. I finally got to the bottom of the steps and quickly looked around for him. I was SOL at that point. I felt Angel star to stir in my arms, his eyes starting to open. He blinked a couple of times before turning his head in all sorts of directions before finally settling his gaze on me.

"What in the hell happened?" He asked, still groggy.

"I don't know I didn't get a good enough answer," I said shrugging my shoulders.

"What answer did you get?" Angel questioned.

"Apparently we're dreaming," I said with an eye roll. But, I knew that I had to keep walking, so I did.

"You can put me down," Angel stated.

"I could, I would, I probably should, but I won't," I said. So, we walked off into the forest with much swearing and complaining. It seemed like 4 hours had passed before I reached a gate. It was way too fancy for my tastes, but I'm not the one who wanted it.

"Uh, hello?" I called out." Is anyone out there?"

"Oh, yeah bring out the things that want to eat us," Angel said.

"Oh shut up, what do you know anyway?"

"What if the people here are cannibals? What are we going to do then?" Angel questioned.

"Um, I don't know! How in the nine hells do I know that smart ass? I'm not the almighty all knowing Audrey!" I shouted. The stress was building up in my mind. I guess my good judgment was all the way in China at that point.

"Excuse me miss?" A voice began.

"What!" Angel and I shouted in unison. I turned around to a brunette in a red jacket, whose ends reached down to his ankles. He had a black shirt and pants, with a sword on one of the belt loops. He had red eyes, which scared me a little.

"You're going to get crow's feet when you're older if you keep smiling like that," I pointed out. He kept on smiling as if it went out one ear and out the other.

"Hi," he began," I'm looking for the castle but I guess I'm lost, do you know which way it is?"

"Uh, I just got here so I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Wait, how tall are you?" I asked.

"6'2," he answered.

"Hah! My brother's taller than you!" I shouted in victory.

"Audrey, we don't have time! We need to find that god awful rabbit!" Angel shouted. I pouted.

"Oh cool, you have a cat that talk?" the guy asked.

"No this is my Uncle Pablo, he's a penguin who owns a barber shop and collects stamps, Of Course He's a Cat who can talk!" I shouted." What's your name anyway?"

"My name's Ace, I'm the knight of the Castle of Hearts!" he declared." And how do you know Peter?'

"Long story, but how do you know Peter?" I asked.

"He works at the castle with me." Ace said.

"Take us there!" Angel demanded.

"Well, I would but as I said before I'm lost." Ace said. I sighed, but I smiled.

"I guess we'll have to walk around in circles until we find it." I said. We both smiled at each other.

"Dammit knight!" Someone shouted, I yelped in surprise and Ace kept on smiling. I turned to find another guy with rabbit ears, only with a gun pointed at both me and Ace. He had orange hair, and two light brown rabbit ears. He was wearing a dark green jacket with a purple worn scarf with wheat popping out at random. He also had pants and a belt that had a skeleton bunny with an eye patch. The thing that tipped me off the edge was that he had purple eyes, I have heard of people having purple eyes but this was just… weird.

"Hey, Mr. Weird Eyes," I shouted," Do you wear contacts?"

"What?" He yelled.

"Mr. Weird Eyes? Is that your new nickname Elliot?" Ace said with a laugh.

"Shut up Knight, and this is Hatter Territory!" Elliot said.

"No Captain Obvious, it's the Castle of Hearts," I said with a smirk. Ace just smiled even wider, but Elliot's face started turning red.

"Uh, Audrey?" Angel began.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I think you should stop."

"Why- Oh he doesn't look happy," I said widening my eyes.

"Ya think?" Angel yelled and I heard a bullet shoot into a tree. And in front of us was Elliot with a silver Red 9, it was beautiful gun, but with the barrel facing you, it was an entirely different story.

"Now Elliot, don't get mad, we're just pulling your leg." I said holding my hands up in surrender.

"Shut up woman!" Elliot yelled at me.

"Sexist!" I screamed pointing a finger at him.

"Now, Audrey, I would step back. Elliot is going to start a fight; I would hide behind the trees." Ace said calmly, pushing me towards one of the many oaks that littered the forest. Then I heard Elliot fire some more bullets. I heard the clang of metal, and decided to look out from my shield. Ace was still smiling with his sword out and deflecting Elliot's bullets. Most of the time Ace would dodge and Elliot would curse, or sometimes Ace would hit Elliot, or Elliot would hit Ace.

"Jesus, do you even have to reload?" I asked Elliot.

"Shut up!" he yelled at me before firing a bullet in my direction. I knew I couldn't dodge as fast as Ace so I dropped Angel and took the bullet myself. It hurt, and I screamed. I felt myself drop like a ton of bricks, I was hit somewhere near my belly button. Angel was telling Ace to help me, to which he told Elliot it was a draw. I felt hands touch my body but I couldn't make out what they were saying, it was all slurred. Then my vision went blurry, and blackness swarmed my vision.

I woke up to Angel nuzzling my cheek, it felt very nice. I opened my eyes to Angel plopping his fat ass in between my legs like usual.

"You scared us." I heard from my left side. I turned my head to find Ace sitting in a grey chair with a smile on his face.

"Do you always smile?" I asked my voice scratchy. My throat was so dry.

"Not always, I didn't smile when you were shot." He replied. Angel meowed and I groaned as a response.

"Little boy, you are a pitiful creature. You know that?" I said.

"I know." Angel replied.

"Aw, I could just cuddle you to death little boy." I cooed, I sat up to hug him but then I felt an enormous amount of pain and dizziness. I fell back with a yelp.

"Ow, ok I'm an idiot." I said scrunching my face up.

"I think you should continue to lay down ma'am." A new voice said. I looked up to find another man in a white suit and a white top hat. It had roses and who knows what on it. He had black hair that had been flared out to look spiked and had been layered. He also had blue eyes and a deep voice that made him sound like Barry White. Elliot followed close behind him with his eyes glued to the ground and his ears drooped.

"I hope you're happy Elliot, you almost killed me jack hole!" I shouted but cringed, my bullet wound not let up on the pain.

"Hey! I didn't mean to shoot you!" he yelled. He opened his mouth to say something else but Mr. Weird Hair here gave him a look. Elliot shut his mouth immediately. I snickered.

"Elliot, don't you have something to say?" Mr. Weird Hair implied.

"But Blood!" He whined. He just got a glare and he let out an over dramatic sigh." I'm swrry," he mumbled.

"What?" I said with a smirk." What was that Elliot, I didn't hear you well," I finished; I was definitely going to milk this moment.

"Yes, Elliot I didn't hear that either, say it louder," Ace said with a wider grin. We smiled at each other quickly before return out attention to Elliot. He gulped loudly before opening his mouth again to complain, which shortly stopped after Blood turned around directly to face him. Elliot's eyes widened, but he looked at me this time.

"I'm sorry for shooting you," he said. I sat in my little hospital bed, and pondered on whether or not I would forgive him.

"I forgive you Elliot, but you don't always have to be so mean towards Ace or me. We were just looking for directions," I said.

"But you don't get it; he always asks for directions and then ends up coming back here asking for them again," He explained.

"Then take him there yourself! Jesus are you always this lazy? My mom can't read a compass let alone a map. I still try and help her get to where she's going, that's why she got a Global Positioning Satellite for Christmas!" I yelled at him. He and everyone else, except Angel, looked shocked. I actually got myself to sit up with the pain signals calling rapid fire to my brain. Angel stood up and started nuzzling my arm.

"So stop being a total ass and help out!" I yelled. I fell backwards and just let out an ow. I felt Angel start nesting on my stomach, it hurt but I couldn't push him away he was too cute. I smiled and started to pet his head. He purred even louder, which I smiled.

"So, when am I getting out?" I asked looking up.

"You're getting out in 3 days." Blood answered.

"Holy crap, did I get that lucky?" I asked.

"Actually Ace deflected the bullet, but managed to hit you in the process." Blood answered.

"Well, I'm going to get out of your hair-, "Ace started to say while getting up.

"Hold it," I commanded. He stopped.

"You saved my life! You can't just walk away. I need to give you a hug first, partner!" I said.

"Partner?" He questioned.

"You're my new partner in crime! Welcome to the Awesome List," I said with a smile.

"OK!" He said.

"Come here, let me give you a hug, big guy," I said, holding my arms out. He gladly accepted the hug.

"Angel, meet our new buddy," I said," New buddy meet Angel, he's your commanding officer."

"What? He's a cat though," Elliot pointed out.

"No, he's my baby boy and I love him, so tough raspberries!" I yelled. Elliot was still confused, Blood seemed totally confused, and Ace kept on smiling. Oh, this was going to be good.

"Hey, everyone except Elliot leave the room, even you Angel," I commanded. Everyone left to my surprise, but I was going to say what needed to be said.

"Elliot, I have something very important to say to you," I said seriously, but on the inside I was laughing.

"What?" he asked his voice monotone.

"You're a tool," I said cracking up only a tiny bit," You are Blood's bitch," I said, now laughing hysterically. I heard laughter on the other side of the door much to Elliot's displeasure.

"Well, welcome to the team partner." I said holding out my hand. Elliot was horrified.

"Hell no!" he shouted," I don't want to be any stupid team of yours." I smiled, at least he could think for himself.

"Oh, well you will join eventually," I said with an eerie smile," they all join."

Elliot just stared at me even more afraid. I laughed but then I looked down at myself, I was in one of those hospital gowns, and I felt gauze around my, to my imagination, once bleeding stomach. I was calm but then, like a flash of lighting on a crappy night. I sucked in a ton of air and screamed; my palms out and my fingers bent at the second knuckle. Elliot yelped.

"What? What's wrong!" He yelled at me.

"I'm not in my normal clothes! I was, but now I'm not and who the hell did it!" I screamed, words flying out of my mouth at light speed. Elliot had a look on his face that said' is that all?' The sound of feet slamming on the floor and soon enough the door was kicked open by Blood, with Ace and two other people right behind him, Elliot screamed like a little girl.

"What happened?" Blood shouted.

"She just started screaming and starts yelling out nonsense!" Elliot yelled, point an accusative finger at me.

"Just remember Elliot," I said, glaring at him," you have 4 fingers pointing right back at you."

"I betcha he was being perverted with Onee-chan," One of the two strangers said. He, I imagine that he was a male, was wearing a Nazi looking outfit that was blue; he also had blue eyes and black hair.

"I think you're right brother," The other one said, he was dressed in a red Nazi outfit with match red eyes, he also had black hair. Which made me question whether or not Ace and the two boys were related, but I dismissed it quickly my attention being drawn to the window above me. Damn, I'm either not a good paranoid person, or I'm seriously going blind. No wait I can see things, I have my contacts in. I started freaking out again, because my contacts outside of the dream are going to roll into the depths of my skull. I whined.

"Oh mom is sooo going to kill me when I wake up," I said like the typical high school manicured, obsessed with pink bitch. I then returned my attention to the now quarreling brothers and Elliot. Ace kept on smiling,_ how do his cheeks not go numb,_ and Blood had a very bored look on his face.

"Excuse me?" I said loudly getting all of their attention," OK, since I'm now in a hospital of some sort, I need to ask, who the hell has my clothes?" I said with a glare, all of them flinched, odd. I raised my eyebrow and drummed my fingers on something metal.

"I know you all heard it now fess up all of you," I said.

"I don't know anything," Ace said.

"Neither do I," Elliot said with a blush on his face. Liar.

"I had a maid do it all right?" Blood said.

"I don't care, I want my clothes," I said crossing my arms. I wanted my shorts, and my brother's t-shirt that said," Kiss my shiny, golden ass." It had a gold Bender on it too. I pushed the covers off my legs, and swung them over so I could get out. I made sure I wasn't flashing anyone and started to walk away, my flesh wound complaining every step.

"See I'm perfectly fine," I said with a smile, which flipped upside down to a frown," Now get me my clothes or so help me I will castrate every single one of YOU! Except Ace, he's my new partner."

"Cool," Ace said with an even wider smile. Blood and co. flinched. I heard Angel run on into the now overly crowded room and he started nuzzling my leg. I picked him up and returned my gaze to everyone.

"OK, let the hunt for my clothes begin," I said," the one who finds my clothes first shall be welcomed to join the Awesome List and the dark side, we have cookies." I continued to move past them out the door and into a very well furnished hallway.

_OK, _I thought to myself,_ today we have a 85% chance of weird, with a 10% chance of getting lost, great._


	2. Chapter 2

Warning! This story contains curses and the song War is the Answer by Fiver Finger Death Punch. I strongly advise that you listen to said song before reading this and viewers under the age of 10; I advise thee to go back to reading stories that have the K rating. This is also not for people who dislike a handful of swearing, but I am not the one who's deciding to read this, well I am but that's not the point. From this point on you are going solo on this, and I do hope you enjoy.

Warning! Viewer Discretion is advised!

I should have had Elliot show me around, or maybe Blood. Because right then and there I had to pee, I was in only a paper gown and my undies, and I wanted to take a shower. I was also thinking of bashing my head into a wall until I smashed my skull in. But then Angel would be sad…god damn contradictions! I continued walking down identical hallway number 562 that probably led to nowhere, my bad luck just loved to pick the worst times. I also didn't know where Angel was, which did not help me in the slightest.

"Damn. My. Life," I growled out to the air. _Great job doofus, now you're lost, _I thought to myself. I let out an exasperated sigh, looking around me for someone to help me. I looked forward again and goose bumps covered my body. If a vampire was white, I was paler and I honestly thought my soul had flown out of my body. In front of me were two little girls with blonde hair and blue eyes. They wore matching white sundresses with a purple sash wrapped around the middle; they looked like they were going to a tea party. They smiled sweetly at me, but then their jaws unhinged and they screeched. I screamed and ran away. Oh no, it wasn't a run it was a sprint! And I heard the monsters roar at me. I thought my butt was going to spontaneously combust. I felt they were 2 feet from me, and I started to cry. I looked back and their faces were disgustingly horrifying. Their faces looked kind of like a gargoyles, except their eyes had to have changed to a bright red. I thought I had peed in my pants. I looked forward again and saw a blur of green in front of me as I collided with something hard. I looked behind me again to find the ghost girls gone and let out a relieved sigh. But, I also noticed I was on top of something, it was kind've squishy. I looked down to find none other than Elliot underneath me, I raised a brow and when he opened his eyes, he blushed. All of a sudden, that's when I said it, and I looked him straight in the face.

"Do you always go this far on the first date?" I looked him in the eyes. His face was P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S, and I think I laughed so hard I cried even more. My whole face was a red as a tomato, and I think his brain just exploded. I was going to say more but Ace came jogging in with his usual smile. I was still laughing and Elliot, I think he died inside. Angel came trotting in after Ace with Blood and co. tagging along. I finally stopped laughing and looked at Elliot with a goofy smile on my face. I leaned my mouth near his brown floppy ear.

"Are you ready to join the Dark side? We're still offering cookies," I whispered. Then another horrified look became plastered onto his face.

"What the hell were you screaming about ma'am!" he yelled at me. Now with my ears ringing, I fell over onto my side and was now in pain from the sword wound I had accidentally gotten from Ace earlier.

"OK. One, I'm pretty much defenseless, only in paper and undies. And two, did you not just see the two demon girls, screaming and trying to reap my immortal soul? Or are you blind?" I yelled. I stood up and my bones let out a couple loud cracks. I looked up at Blood and the two twins.

"Also I desperately have to pee, I need a shower, and I want all my items accounted for and brought to me," I said in a serious tone. To be honest Blood gave me the creeps. I was expecting him to pop out a coffin and rob me of all my blood. I know that sounded wrong just now, but it's true. I finally got a good look at him and even though I somehow respected him, his hair was so weird. It defied gravity, kind've of like Cloud Strife's from Final Fantasy 7….good god that was awful. I'm sorry it was not my kind of game, I mean I am more of a fighting game person where you beat the snot out of your opponent, I don't see the point of turn based battles and though I love Pokémon it faces the same problem too. I shook my head, to get rid of the thought, and reaffixed my gaze at Blood. Wow my brain just may be more screwed up than Peter's... and that is saying something.

"So…yeah…bathroom…clothes…please?" I asked. His mouth shifted into a foreboding smile and he bowed. I was scared.

"Oh of course, I am truly sorry for my…worker's actions earlier. I will be sure to have a pleasant chat with him later," He smiled but I knew he was looking at Elliot through his apology, who at the moment, was now probably scared shitless. I felt bad for the poor guy and Blood now was officially on the creeper list.

"He didn't do anything wrong, OK? I was the one who bumped into him, and probably scarred him for life. So, just give him a break all right," I said. Their jaws dropped, and I think Angel scoffed.

"What? Are really surprised?" He began, and then paused for about 5 seconds." Never mind, you ignorant people."

"Now Angel," I said," be nice." I leaned in closer to his ear and whispered," That's my boy." I grinned and then frowned once more and wagged my finger at him. Then I remembered what I needed to do.  
"Bathroom please!" I think I started crying again. They blinked, the twins started laughing and Blood just led the way. We passed one door and we were already there. One freaking door. I opened the door and held it open for Angel to walk in. What? He's my sweet baby boy and he's a cat if you hadn't noticed. I felt Blood's gaze on the back of my head and I whipped my head towards him making him jump.

"**Yes?"** I hissed at him, and took a large step into the bathroom. I slammed the door behind me and managed to lock it. It would be the day hell froze over when I wouldn't lock a door to take a shower around those men. I looked Angel who was rubbing his face on the edge of the counter. It was a basic little bathroom, kind of cozy if you thought about it. The counter top was granite with a small basin in the middle, the walls were painted a tan color, and the tiles were marble. There was a toilet and a shower/bathtub that were also black. I smiled to myself and looked back onto the counter to find none other than my clothes and my IPod and cell phone.

"Oh YEAH!" My voice going down a couple pitches to match the Kool-Aid man's and I proceeded to do my victory dance. But I stopped short when I heard a giggle; it sounded like one that belonged to a small child. A toddler most likely. I flinched and froze in mid twist; note to self, next time ignore paranormal activity. I didn't look at the mirror, behind me, or behind the black shower curtain; my exstensive knowledge of how horror movies work finally became usefull. I did only two things, the first thing I did was pray that I wouldn't go to hell, and the second thing I did was obvious. I screamed, that scream made nails on a chalk board sound like a lullaby. I heard Angel yell for help, but I knew that it was all I would hear, before they made me die of fright. Everything became silent and became black and white except for me. I turned around and found one of the same little girls I had found earlier.

"Time to go," she said sweetly. I let out a sigh, her hand was outward and she wiggled her fingers. I sighed again bowing my head and taking a small step forward. And all of a sudden colors became flooding in, I smirked underneath my curtain of hair and looked right back at her. I smiled wider than the Cheshire cat ever could and widened my eyes making sure my baby blues were visible.

"Let's dance," I said my voice sounding like something out of the exorcist movie. I ran to the shower and pulled out the bar of soap from the small indent in the wall. I whipped around to the girl who was scowling at me, and I held out the soap towards her. She raised a brow.

"The power of Christ compels you! I will clean your soul!" I repeated this phrase about 5 times before the ghost finally knocked the bar of soap out of my hands.

"Oh come on its lavender scented!" I yelled, in a small, cozy bathroom it was hard to run. Angel was sitting contently on the closed toilet seat, which almost made me want to call him an ass. I watched as the once locked door became kicked open, and by Blood no less. Poor door. I yelped and leaped into Elliot hugging him like no tomorrow. Elliot hugged me back, which I am eternally grateful and Blood ran into the bathroom, to either A) look for whatever made me scream, or B) to find any property damage. Somehow I think B) was the likeliest outcome. I also knew the girl was probably gone and I now looked insane, well I am but that's beside the point.

I also realized that I had yet to pee and shower. I groaned. This is freaking perfect. I decided to look at Blood while his gaze was still on me.

"You need to get your place exorcized," I politely pushed Elliot out of the door frame and proceeded to grab Blood's wrist to tug him out of the tiny bathroom. He pulled me backwards so he could whisper in my ear. I was expecting this.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to let you walk away without an explanation?" He whispered, and to quote the Lovely Bones, he gave me the skeevees. I turned my head towards him.

"If I told you would you believe me?" I questioned, and before he managed to speak I continued talking."And besides a lot of stuff happens to me on a daily bases so it's nothing new. So please just let me shower in peace sir. "

I don't think he likes me anymore, oh well. Too bad for him. He grumbled something under his breath and continued to walk out of the bathroom. I looked back at the clothes and towel before I closed the door. I began to undress, when I heard a snort. I looked at the toilet which Angel was on top of. He burst out laughing, maybe it's just me but I didn't think cats could laugh. I glared at him which made him laugh even harder making him fall onto the floor. I ran over to my poor baby.

"Are you OK?" I yelled worried. He got back onto his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied before laughing, again. I did my business, took my shower, and got redressed. I rummaged through some drawers to find a comb, and in no time I opened the door with Angel at my heels mumbling something about me taking forever. I raised an eyebrow and wasn't even expecting to find Elliot across from the hall, lost in space. I had the scenario of me clapping my hands to get him out of space, but I decided to be nice and just wave my hand in front of his face. I walked over to him, getting on my tippy toes to wave my hand in front of his face. And NO I am NOT short I'm 5 foot 6; he's just a giant, OK? I felt my stomach growl loudly; he just raised an eyebrow at me. What? Did you expect me to blush? Blasphemy.

"Let us get food!" I yelled, pumping my arms in the air. I blinked a couple times before I realized that Ace and the twins were missing. I looked up at Elliot and realized he was looking at me before he turned his head forward. He's definitely stalker material.

"Where are Ace and the twins? And who are the twins anyway?" I asked. He looked back at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh that's Dee and Dum the guards," He said rolling his eyes.

"But, where are they along with Ace?" I asked. He just rolled his eyes.

"That dumb knight is probably lost in the forest by now, and I don't know where the brats are," he said. I gasped.

"Don't call the love of my life dumb! At least he's better than you!" I yelled at him. By the way, Ace isn't the love of my life, I just wanted to screw with Elliot more. Ah, the simple pleasures in life.

"The love of your life?" He yelled, surprised I would imagine. I just rolled my eyes, an art I had perfected.

"Yes, he is. And what's so bad about Ace anyway? Do you think someone else should be the love of my life?"I yelled at him.

"Yes, in fact I do think someone else should be," he spat back at me.

"And who would that be, oh wise and noble Elliot?" I said sarcastically.

"That would be-" He stopped himself. I raised my eyebrow.

"Um, okay? Let's just get some food, I'm freaking starving, and I'm not afraid of calling child services," I said.

"All right," Elliot retorted. I pulled out my IPod and placed my ear buds into my ears. I scrolled through my songs and finally stopped at the song War is the Answer by Five Finger Death Punch. I threw my head back and forth, singing along.

"_This ain't a test, fuck the rest! _

_Time to set the record straight._

_Talk your shit behind my back, let's hear you say it to my face!_

_I've heard the words fall out your lips,_

_You little trendy fucking bitch!_

_The time has come to get you some,_

_Because I just do not give a shit!"_

To say Elliot was surprised would be an understatement. I smirked before going back to singing along.

"_Do you take me for a fool?_

_How's it feel to be a tool?_

_See to me you're just a cancer!_

_Mother Fucker, WAR IS THE ANSWER!"_

Seeing Elliot's expression almost made me laugh, but I just continued with an air guitar and more head banging.

"_As now the end begins,_

_I want to laugh but there's no joke!_

_To eat with the beasts,_

_And run with the wolves,_

_On the ashes you must choke._

_I know it's got to chap your ass,_

_To think I just won't go away._

_Effects me not, I'm writing you off_

_I've got nothing more to say._

_Do you take me for a fool?_

_How's it feel to be a tool?_

_See to me you're just a cancer,_

_Mother fucker, WAR IS THE ANSWER!"_

Elliot probably hadn't heard the f word more than once in a song. Almost made me pity him, oh well. My favorite part was coming up.

"_Get some!_

_You want to disrespect me, _

_You little fucking punk?_

_Everything I've done_

_To be who I am,_

_As far as I've fucking come?"_

I turned to Elliot poking him in the chest.

"_I'll slap you so hard,_

_It'll feel like you kissed a freight train._

_Fuck you!_

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

I yelled and even rocked out harder to the guitar solo.

"_Do you take me for a fool?_

_How's it feel to be a tool?_

_See to me you're just a cancer,_

_Mother fucker, WAR IS THE ANSWER!"_

I stopped, god I love that song. I smiled and returned my attention to Elliot, who looked kind of scared. I laughed maliciously.

"Let's get going," I said with a smile. He gulped and led me down the hallway, I almost want to tackle hug him, oh I just love screwing with him.

After filling my stomach with grilled cheese, and soda, Elliot and I decided to take a tour. And by decided I mean I forced him. And by forced I mean threatened with I'm going to talk to you everyday if you don't. Unfortunately for Elliot, I still was going to talk to him every day until I could leave. As they say, ignorance is bliss. I had found out that with every hallway there were three bathrooms, full bath, a kitchen and 2 dining rooms; along with 15 staff bedrooms. Yes all together 21 rooms, in one hallway, weird huh? And this was the Hatter's Mansion, Hatter's Estate, or the Hatter's crib, depending on your preference. But, what mainly disturbed me was the fact they had 2 miniature hospitals. Yeah, that is creepy. And on our tour Elliot tried to block my view of 7 people being carried in the opposite direction on stretchers, also they were leaving puddles of blood on the nice carpet. Call me Larry, but that wasn't ordinary. I actually gagged, it looked like a massacre had taken place. Elliot looked worried, and I thought I was going to puke. After the threat of puking on my shoes was gone, we continued on with the tour.

"And this is Blood's office, he's got all sorts of books," he said with excitement, if you're wondering, during that tour whenever he talked about Blood he would smile, so much so that Ace's cheeks would hurt. Also his ears rose up too, but that wasn't the important part. I smiled, as a thought shot into my brain. I could throw a party in his office while he was asleep. Yeah, then I could hide out for a while in the forest, but then I'd have to sneak back in and Angel would be lonely and come after me. Me and sneaky are complete opposites. As I thought of this Elliot had a worker come up to him with a stack of papers that would go up to my knee. I decided to get a good look at the fellow, and what I saw was none to calming for my nerves. He was in a white and black suit, and he had blonde hair with a couple strands over his left eye. It was spiked out and dyed black at the tips. His ear was pierced with a nice silver hoop in the cartilage and a black and spiked hoop for the regular one. He had a small black hat on his head, and when I got to his face I sort of freaked out.

"Holy hell in a hand basket, you have no eyes!" I then proceeded to back up into one of the walls and screamed. What, if you saw a guy with no eyes walking around you'd freak the hell out to.

"What's wrong with that? Only the role holders have eyes," Elliot said coming towards me. But it was either stick with him, or be murdered by ghosts….. maybe the second option was better. I was trying to back up farther, but walls are solid unfortunately, though if they weren't you wouldn't be able to build houses.

"OK, I'm just high, Blood put heroine in the cheese and weed that was crushed into a fine powder in my pop," I reasoned to myself. Elliot looked even more confused, and the worker behind him started apologizing. I slapped myself a couple times and took a deep breath.

"I'm just going to ignore that you don't have eyes if you please ignore I just had a mini heart attack," I said, wide eyed. I gulped loudly and slid down to the floor, panting. I let out 2 or 3 wispy curses. I looked back up at the poor man.

"I'm sorry, in my world everyone has eyes, it was wrong for me to freak out," I said.

"I knew it! You are a foreigner!" Elliot yelled.

"Well that certainly gives me a higher self esteem," I mumbled, rolling my eyes."And besides Elliot, I think we had established that fact already."

I sighed and stood up. I felt gravity tug me back down again. I hit the back of my head on the wall with a loud thump, and then the world went dark. I was still conscious but I couldn't open my eyes. Elliot was freaking out and so was the faceless man.

"Elliot... I'm just so tired," I felt kind of drowsy, it felt like I was lifting a crate when I moved my mouth. My guess is either the sleeping medicine they gave me before was starting to kick in or Blood drugged me. Either way sleep sounded freaking amazing. I felt the two men pick me up but I leaned more to the person on my right and shuffled my feet as we moved forward.

"No…don't take me to the hospital…I don't want a bill," I managed to slur out. Unless their currency was dirt, then I wouldn't have minded. I was about to say something, when Angel started growling from behind me.

"Okay, who ever hurt her is going to have their face shredded to the point of where I rip out your eye balls," Angel hissed at them. I was surprised but then I remembered that he was my baby boy.

"We can settle this later, we need to get her hospitalized first," I heard faceless guy say. OK, when I wake up I'm giving him a name.  
"No…." I moaned.

"I think she just said no," Elliot said unsure.

"No hospital and no more bills…"I moaned out. If I could see everyone's expression right then I would have laughed but I was kind of SOL.

"Mommy, you're gonna kill yourself one day you know that?" Angel let out a cute sigh." Come on let's just let her rest."

"No way! She could die!" Elliot argued, sounding generally concerned. Aww, that was nice but I would have to get him back later.

"Look, I'm her right hand cat!" Angel yelled." I decide what happens to her and I've decided you are not taking her to this 'Hospital' and you're just going to let her rest! Got it bunny boy?"

After his proclamation Elliot got silent. I was rooting for my boy, and soon Elliot finally spoke just two seconds after the faceless man let out a high pitched whine.

"What did you call me?" Elliot said, his arm trembling and I was thinking the ever so popular phrase "oh shit" repeatedly in my brain.

"I called you a bunny boy!" Angel yelled at him. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I could almost hear the steam shooting out of Elliot's ears.

"I AM NOT A RABBIT! MY EARS ARE JUST LONG!" He yelled. I snapped open my eyes and ran out in front my gray tabby.

"Touch him and you will be castrated with a pair of hedge clippers and will have your eyes gauged out," I said seriously, my mouth in a straight thin line. You see I'm like those bald eagles on the Animal Planet, beautiful and nice to look at. But if you touch my chicks I will claw your eyes out with my talons. Elliot gave in, and pouted.

"But he started it," he began.

"I don't give a crap about who started it, I'm ending it!" I yelled." Elliot I just need sleep, OK? I'll be fine after another nap. Please?"

"But Blood invited you for a tea party, he'll be upset if you don't come," he said in a sad tone.

"Elliot, as much as I love tea and how much I have acquainted myself with you and the twins. I want to sleep, and I'm sorry but I have to decline his invitation," I looked out a window I had noticed and that outside it was nighttime. The sky was a deep rich blue and stars twinkled even in the dim glow of the street lamps outside. The moon was full and the glow around it made the air in the hallway just a bit more refreshing. I blinked a couple of times and returned back to Elliot and he was smiling at me. As soon as he noticed I was looking at him, he blushed. I smirked and swooped Angel into my arms, he then started to snore softly. I held him to my chest and smiled. I slowly rubbed his white and speckled belly to which he started purring.

"See even the little boy is tuckered out." I said sweetly before yawning." So, I think I'm gonna hit the hay."

"All right let me show you your room then." Said faceless man…and that reminds me.

"Um sir what's your name?" I asked. His cheeks heated up and he smiled at me.

"I'm sorry ma'am, I don't have one."

"Now you do," I said." Your new name is Jacob." He only nodded with another smile and our group of 4 including me continued down the hallway. After going down about 12 hallways I eventually had to ask Elliot to carry Angel, I was swamped. Now when I am tired I spout out random quotes for only God knows the reason.

"'_Only a few find the way… some don't recognize it when they do… some don't ever want to.'" _I said. Elliot replied with "huh?" before we continued looking for my room. I yawned again and Angel's left paw twitched. I wanted to say it was cute but the wall was coming dangerously close, so I waded back in line. More and more as we walked I began to just drag my left foot which was too numb. It didn't matter I've had worse moments. Elliot was about to say something but he was interrupted.

"We're here!" Jacob said gleefully. I almost said finally but it wasn't necessary after all, at least he led me here. I just yawned, and waddled into my room. There was a white gown on my bed, too lazy to even raise a brow, I just walked toward it. Elliot placed Angel gently on the bed and I managed to slur out thank you.

"Jacob, please stay with her until morning. We don't want anything happening to her," Elliot commanded. Before smiling at me," Goodnight Audrey!" he said gleefully. I slurred out something close to "goodnight".

"Yes sir," Jacob said with a bow. I just burst out laughing, a tired Audrey makes a crazy Audrey, and pushed them outside the door. I changed into my nightgown and flopped onto the bed. I felt for a pillow and when I had found one I pulled it under my head. There was a window on my right; the moon practically begging me to look at it. I flipped over to my right side and instantly my muscles relaxed and I drifted into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Now, if you've ever played with a kaleidoscope, you know with all the colors and such, you can kind of see it as a kid's version of LSD. That was what I was experiencing. Now keeping up with the theme of things in, ahem, Wonderland, I was dreaming inside of a dream. Now as logic came into play this sort of created a small time paradox; okay in a nutshell I was lost. After thinking about this for about, 1 minute tops, I was surrounded by a cluster of stars. My self control was long forgotten with my curiosity at play, as my trembling hand reached out the small shining orbs. I immediately felt my usually cold fingers become toasty, and a slight pressure as if the warmth spilled through the gaps of my fingers and onto the back of my hand. My body began to fill with warmth, it felt…tranquil. I heard a soft chuckle from behind me and I let go of the star and whipped my head towards the sound.

The source was from a man with silver hair (I guess he's old). He had gray, carefree eyes that made him seem aloof, and I immediately disliked him, he seemed like the type of guy who didn't work hard and gave no respect to anyone. Over his right eye was an eye patch that was black and gold, and he was dressed in a nice enough suit with ruffled cuffs. Emerging from what I assumed as his tail bone was a black devils tail that swished from side to side with glee. I narrowed my eyes at him; the warmth silently hummed in my body so I felt somewhat confident.

"Very cute, now I understand why Peter wanted to bring you here," he said, with a small grin. I remained quiet, in my dreams if I didn't feel a dark presence I would talk. This guy gave off no feel of a threat, but from watching crime shows I had come to this conclusion, it's always the person you least expect. And besides this was Wonderland, everything was made to screw you over. I had to either decide whether or not to talk to this freak.

"Do not fear me, Audrey, I will not harm you," he said," My name is Nightmare, I am an incubus."

"So you molest women in their dreams?" I asked. What? Incubi were commonly known to rape women in their dreams, same story for succubi except with men. He gave an incredulous look and was flushed before he calmed down.

"No, but-"He calmly started before I cut him off.

"So, does that make you Freddy Krueger?" I asked." Do you kill people in their sleep? Cause if you are, I liked you better in the movies." I looked him up and down, yeah; Robert Englund won points in the style category.

"All right we don't have a lot of time-"Nightmare began again to cut off once more.

"Wouldn't that make you a pedophile also? Because I'm 14 and you are obviously older than me-"I started saying.

"All right SHUT UP!" He snapped at me," Look, you're playing a game. You are in this game until the vial fills up again with blue liquid."

"Okay, but the drink Peter gave me tasted like shit, if I must say. And you said something about him bringin' me here, who the hell would like me?" I asked, with a small smile.

"Oh, well, I merely opened the hole, he did the rest of the work," I felt my jaw drop. This guy helped him? I was going to throw him a pit of lava!

"Oh you can't do that, I control this world, soon you'll wake up; it was nice to chat with you, go back to the nightmare," he said, a smile on his face but his eyes were cold and calculating. I felt myself sink into the background as he gave me a small smirk with a wave.

_Jackass!_ I thought.

I had blinked before finding myself in a tank, the ones where they hold the clones in, the ones in science fiction shows. My arms flailed, and I tried to scream. Soon I was falling into a dark, sinister hole. Angel stood at the top with tears soaking his fur, I reached out to him, but soon I felt the skin on my back start to burn. I howled. I turned my head to find a flame incased hand with demons and ghouls screeching at me. I screeched this time; the darkness incased my being as the hand snatched me in my decent. I opened my eyes and screamed. With Dee and Dum shaking both my shoulders, they screamed too. Okay, waking up screaming wasn't on my to-do list. I looked past both of the twins and saw the two little girls again, one had a wicked smile but the other looked guilty. I blinked a couple times before they disappeared and soon the twins bombarded me with questions.

"Nee-chan, are you all right?" Dee asked, with a sincerely concerned expression.

"Yeah, you sounded like your limbs were torn off!" Dum said, sounding somewhat concerned and somewhat excited at the promise of dismembered limbs.

"Yeah…" I said trailing off as I put on a troubled expression. My nightmares weren't like this, most of the time they were short and quick. But this…was much more sinister. Well, another person hates me in the world

"I'm fine though, honest," I said with a small smile, before my stomach roared like a t-rex." But, I'm not entirely sure about my tummy."

They gave each other disbelieving looks before smiling and leading me from the warm bed and out the door. Every step I took, I flew about 3 feet (my wound hurt every step), and soon we were outside at a table. It had teapots scattered at nearly every end of the table, with large plates of food, and I smelled an amazing smell. It was bacon. Oh dear, sweet, delectable, mouthwatering bacon! I zoomed to the chair nearest to the bacon, and sat down, panting, with my tongue out like a dog's.

"Morning," I heard a familiar voice call. I growled at shifted my gaze away from my meat. Blood stood there, suit and all, with a smug grin on his face. Ass.

"Why aren't you dressed?" Elliot asked, walking behind Blood, fully clothed as well.

"Sorry," I said," I ain't gonna get all shnazzed up so I can eat my breakfast." I mean that would be ridiculous. Elliot was making his way over to me when the twins eagerly took the two chairs next to me.

"Sorry Newbie Hare," Dee began.

"But, you were too slow!" Dum finished. Elliot started grinding his teeth before he went on the opposite side to sit.

"Now boys," I said," I'm open to share." Blood, who was sipping his tea, spit it out with his eyes wide open. Elliot blushed, and the twins joined me in a hearty laugh.

"But we don't want to share you Onee-chan," Dum started.

"We want you all to ourselves!" Dee finished, both of them were smirking. I leaned my head back and cackled madly, before well, shoving my face into my bacon. I had an assembly line thing going, one hand one bring my mouth bacon while the other dug for more. Though, both Blood and Elliot looked as if they were going to hurl. The twins' mouths had formed o's, probably shocked at my disgusting eating habits.

"So," Blood began," How long are you going to stay with us?"

"Um, I'm not entirely sure, but I guess until I can leave or until someone else offers up the space," I said." Come on! Wipe the frowns off your faces and smile more. You're face might freeze that way if you let it sit."

I felt terrible, but the truth is never welcoming. I simply sat, not even bothering to eat my bacon; damn guilt trips!

"I'm gonna get Jake, maybe he can show me where a bathroom is," I said, standing up. But before I left, something hit me. "Hey, have any of you see Angel?"

"I think I saw him heading for the rose gar-"Elliot began, before his ears dropped and Blood set down the tea cup in his hands.

"I reckon I'ma have to go get him aren't I?" I said, a little frightened, as Blood sat quietly in his chair no movement whatsoever.

"Yeah," Elliot said calmly, before I legged it like roadrunner to the rose garden, wherever that was. But knowing Blood, it had to be huge to sustain his seemingly giant ego. I ran my ass off, well metaphorically of course, though the thought of my ass bouncing up and down on the side walk is nonetheless morbid yet somewhat hilarious.

I need help.

I stopped when I first saw the rose garden; I won't go into explicit detail but for entertainment purposes I shall say this: It was fucking huge. But as I tried to enter, destroying some rose along the way, bullets showered at my feet, thankfully not hitting them. And as I shifted my gaze upwards I found myself gaping at Blood Dupre, with a scowl on his face, and a submachine gun resting on his hip.

"Okay, I think we're both in the wrong here, I won't go in your rose garden and you need to stop overreacting." I said putting my hands in surrender position. His gun transformed into a cane and I let out a relieved sigh. Then he grabbed me from the front of my gown.

"Don't go into my rose garden," He hissed at me. I merely glared back at him, causing a staring contest between us, but I heard a large ripping sound. And we both blinked before looking down, to find the back my gown flailing forward with an awkward breeze and the cloth going farther and farther from my skin.

"You lousy, no good, rotten, low life PERVERT!" I screeched, before I kicked him in the nuts; did I mention I'm a second degree brown belt? Blood simply whimpered and dropped to the ground, holding himself in pain. And believe me, my face was beet red as I readjusted my gown. Elliot and the Tweedles (sounds like a band name) rushed over, but the deed was done and Blood was still down.

"Elliot, could you find Angel for me?" I asked, stepping over the fallen man," And could you guys help me find clothes?" The three just nodded as we went our separate ways, ignoring Blood.

After my epic nut shot, I found myself in a disastrous situation. All they could find me was Lolita clothes….you know, with all the frills and crap? I think I felt my soul start to deteriorate.

"You're serious?" I asked wanting to rip the lacey monstrosity off my body. I was grateful mind you, that they didn't murder me on the spot, which was weird assuming he was their boss. In real life I would have been thrown out, or possibly shot on sight. I cringed at the thought of being shot, but regained my composure and tried to bare the yucky feeling that came with this Lolita nightmare.

"Sorry this is all we could find," Dum said, without any remorse whatsoever.

"B-but," I stammered," there's got to be something; it has no pockets! Or shorts!" I exclaimed, not once in my life, except for my toddler years and weddings have I ever worn dresses voluntarily.

"Well, Onee-chan, you're gonna have to sit tight in that until you find something else," Dum replied. I don't like wearing dresses. Period. They make me feel vulnerable. I wanted to argue but I knew the situation wouldn't be helped, so I'd have to stay in this dress until I could find something else. Fuck.

"Well, thank you for finding me this at least. It'll have to do, but I hope Angel's O.K." I said.

"Well I'm alive aren't I?" A familiar voice called. I felt tears build up and whipped my head towards the familiar sound. There was my gray tabby all bundled up within Elliot's arms. I squealed like a fan girl meeting Edward Elric, and ran over to the rabbit man. I scooped the cat into my arms and planted a smooch right between his ears.

"You arse! I was worried, and I had to kick Blood in the balls! There are Blood's ball germs all over my foot!" I exclaimed at him. But then I remembered Elliot. I stood up on my tippy toes and kissed him. Bold move I know, but honestly I was only tall enough just to be able to kiss him on his chin. I hate being short.

"Thank you for finding him," I said, with a small smile. Again screwing with Elliot was so much fun! I wanted to burst out laughing! His face was as red as a baboon's butt!

"Hey! How come newbie hare gets a kiss and we don't?" The twins asked in unison.

"Simple, he found my baby and you got me a dress, which I could easily be prayed on by perverts for wearing," I answered. Just then Blood walked passed, growling death threats under his breath.

_Speaking of perverts, _I thought to myself. But, for shits and giggles I planted a kiss on each of their cheeks.

"So, today's mission is to get to the Castle of Hearts to kick Peter White's scrawny ass!" I proclaimed; it was about time this man, rabbit….furry (yeah let's go with furry) learned his lesson!

"Why?" The three males questioned.

"Because, he chose the mistake of screwing with me, and I am going to show him what for!" I hissed. Elliot and they twins had their mouths open agape.

"What?" I asked.

"You had intimate relations with him?" Elliot sounded horrified. I felt the bile creep up my throat when he said that.

"Wow, um, O.K. I didn't think your mind would there **that**fast but, not I have not and don't plan to," I said with a scowl on my face; bad mental image right there. "Let us flee into the distance!"

I picked up Angel and ran down the hall, well Elliot caught me by the collar and turned me towards the way we needed to go and after being grabbed by the collar about 5 more times, I let him lead the way. Elliot stayed quiet for most of our journey through the mansion, mostly because the twins were chatting away barely letting him speak, and even when I tried to talk to him the twins would up skirt me. Which I solved by a quick spin-around back fist to the head; don't worry I didn't hit them that hard…I think.

"There's the front door," Elliot told us, before I sped past him to kiss the ground outside.

"Sweet freedom!" I cried, before hugging the grass.

"Onee-chan?" Dum called. "Your skirt."

I sat up so fast I nearly gave myself whiplash. Embarrassed I was. Yeah, I know Yoda fail.

"Okay not a good way to start our journey," I said to myself. I raised myself to find all three of them blushing, before Angel trotted towards me.

"Perverts," He said comically casual, which had me cackling madly.

"To the Castle of Hearts we go!" I proclaimed, thrusting1 a fist into the air. We continued to walk through the forest, cautious of what would lie ahead.

1 That one made me burst out laughing right there. XD

I am so very, very sorry for the late update, and I know that it's much shorter than a usual chapter! But, I was tired of looking at it taking up space on my laptop! So, yes I promise it'll be much better chapter 4! Scouts Honor… even though I wasn't in Scout's…'cause I'm a girl…

Anyway, peace out suckers!


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